While the Great Barracuda is armed with flesh shredding teeth and blazing speed, you do not need to worry. One fine summer day I was being pulled by a boat over the shallow waters of the Bahamas, looking for conch, when a rather large barracuda shadowed me. Me not seeing much in the way of conch, decided to strike up a conversation with the barracuda...
Me: My, what big teeth you have.
Barracuda: Why thank you, I just had them polished.
Me: Polished you say, how do you go about that?
Barracuda: I just ate a fine specimen of Queen Triggerfish. The rough skin helps polish my teeth.
Me: So you've just eaten, that is good. No chance of you taking a bite out of me then.
Barracuda: Oh no, no need to worry about that. We don't like the taste of most humans.
Me: Most?
Barracuda: Well we do enjoy a little nip of a fresh Canadian from time to time.
Me: Canadians? Really?
Barracuda: Yes, not sure why. Maybe it has something to do with their diet of Canadian Bacon.
Me: Ahhhh, yes. Canadian Bacon is good.
Me: What about shiny objects?
Barracuda: Doesn't impress me really unless it's a nice watch like a Rolex or something. And not one of those imitation Rolexs that go around in the spam emails, but a real Rolex.
Me: Makes sense. What about body jewelry?
Barracuda: Depends on who is wearing it.
Me: I gotcha. I think I see some conch below so I'm going to drop off. Thanks for your time.
Barracuda: Not a problem. Send my best to Montgomery. (my monkey)
Me: Will do. Take care.